Take the National Express when your life is a mess …

So, the Job Centre tells me I was wrongly advised when told I can only travel by coach in search of work. It was easy enough advice to believe because Iain Duncan Smith says we should all get on the bus. I wonder if the mode of transport was altered because, unfortunately for the government, I never recovered from a traumatic event while on holiday as a child and still can’t ride a bike.

But it seems we jobseekers are allowed on trains, after all, but we mustn’t put our feet on the seats. It is a relief because no amount of tricks in my presentation would un-crease my clothes or stop me smelling of sweat. Or of eggs: National Express coaches have to smell of eggs to be considered roadworthy.

After telling a University that I was unable to attend I am now able to and will be schlepping across the country again in search of employment: like Dick Whittington in search of gold-paved streets but with Chaplin who will be less adaptable and a poor rat-catcher, I fear.

I am not, though, done complaining. I intend to reiterate to my MP that in order to keep afloat (when I say afloat I mean can clearly make out the discarded shopping trolleys under the water) I have had to:

  • get rid of my mobile phone (who knew how difficult it is to arrange to meet people without one?)
  • take my car off the road (hence my dependency on over-priced public transport)
  • frequently go without hot water and heating on a regular basis (it’s summer so I can sit in the sun with greasy hair)
  • repeatedly write to banks and credit card companies asking for some understanding

I am being:

  • charged £6 every day by RBS in overdraft fees and now threatened me with debt collection agencies
  • charged for payment protection by Capital One which was, of course, mis-sold to me
  • arguing with Orange who repeatedly failed to cancel my account and even sent me an unrequested SIM card
  • asking HMRC to please understand that they failed to take my tax when I had it so will now have to wait because I don’t. (I wonder if Osborne could give me a few tips on tax avoidance, maybe I’ll write to him next.)
  • arguing with BT who disconnected my phone then charged me £11 to reconnect it, all without telling me

I think such complaints could split the blogosphere: I should be willing to travel the land for work and recognise the problems of unemployment as my own fault, some will say.

I say nonsense.

I have also had to start cooking which, as a fan of the ready meal, I genuinely resent.

Amount of money I have: 9p in my bank account to last five days

What I would buy: Food

Jobs interviews arranged: 1

Miles to travel to interview: 529 mile round-trip

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2 thoughts on “Take the National Express when your life is a mess …

  1. Pingback: Excuses, Excuses | Samuel Wood

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